Monday, January 21, 2013

"Prepared" - ‎01/21/13 - Job 8:1-11:20

“Still, if you set your heart on God
and reach out to Him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless." (11:13,14)

Last night, after spending the day with g'ma, we arrived home around midnight.  There was a red, flashing light letting us know that we had a new message.  After pressing the button to listen, I was taken aback by the voice.  It was a person, who I probably haven't had a conversation with for almost ten years and in the last five at least, spoken at all.  They were extending an invite for dinner.
I just looked at Curt and we both knew that we had some praying to do.  If asked, I really can not tell you why we haven't a relationship.  There was a time I prayed for them regularly.  One day, God told me to send a card.  After much delay, I finally did.  In it I was led to write, "I am praying for you".  That was it.  And I never heard anything about it, which didn't matter because by then I was doing for God.  Their not responding didn't affect me.  "Our" problems had become "my" problems in the relationship I shared with God.  I was bringing in the elements of unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, jealousy, revenge.  A whole garbage bag full of satan/self tools of destruction. 

God has helped to remove these emotions and replaced them with His love.  I have turned my life over to Him, set my heart on Him and reached out to Him.  I have scrubbed my hands and heart clean - my home, my temple, no longer entertains evil.  He has prepared me for this time - I let go and let God.  His verse wasn't by happen chance to be in my reading today.  All the other Words He has given me are promises that I stand on.  His love, His instructions, knowing I am safe and do not have to be a scapegoat or doormat.  That I can stand firm In Him.

I hate confrontation.  It used to be able to produce fear and anxiety.  No longer do I feel that way.  All this time I have been standing on His Truth.  I prayed and followed His commands.  When I think about dinner with them, I don't have any negative emotions.  I am very surprised that I don't feel defensive or that I have to prepare to war.  So, I could hold onto pride and not go - satan loves division.  That isn't even an urge.  My heart is becoming so "set on Him" that I am eagerly watching to where He will use me. 

But the bottom line is I am doing this for God.  This situation is making Him weep. So we will pray and go.  I am not obsessing about this (that is the biggest surprise), nor am I anxious.  The way that I am feeling about this is the Fruits of the Spirit.  I know that no matter the outcome, good or bad, He is in control.  I am His.  I pray we stay and break bread and not leave, that His hedge of protection is about us all. 

He has prepared me.  Prepared Curt and me.  Not only for this instance, but for all those that we come up against in our journey.  It is the continuing spiritual battle that we must engage in. 

"You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless."

"guiltless and fearless."

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