Are you calling me a sinner so you can be a saint?" (40:8)
God is talking to Job.
Yes, I know that He has spoken the same words to me numerous times throughout my life. I have experienced the problem of serving self, trying to make myself god, instead of serving Him. It's during those times that I try to "sugar coat" sin. To observe it through "rose colored glasses". That way I can convince myself God is in error - I know that my vision is accurate - I can determine what is a sin.
That way - I become the "saint".
And there have been times He has rescued me from the consequences of my sins. And then there are the times that I have had to endure the consequences. Thankfully, I am given His grace and mercy through my Christ. Thankfully, His Word has/is transforming my heart to desire to serve Him more often than self. Still I struggle, still I fail, but I know I am doing better than yesterday because of Him.
When I first began to read Job, it was a book I dreaded to go through. I felt that God was using him as a pawn in a game with satan. It didn't seem right that the God I loved and served was about using a person to a point of allowing them to be hurt. Hurt in every way possible - except death. Job shares that there were many times he wished he was dead, which I sometimes thought would have been a blessing to him.
And then I discovered that I was looking at Job through my own narrow, incorrect vision. What I was thinking was wrong about God - wasn't.
He opened my eyes to the honor and blessing Job received to be the man God told satan to pick. God knew that Job was a "mighty warrior" - a "mighty warrior" in Him. It was then I realized that is why sometimes, I face consequences of my sins. It is why sometimes, I face consequences of others sins or the unfairness of life. He views me as His "mighty warrior". That through the lessons of Job - I am then able to stand firm in Him during the games of satan.
Looking back through the years of my life, I see now that when I thought what was best - it really didn't even come close to the better I have today. The blessings that I receive from the experience of enduring a battle together with my husband, I know we are a team for Him. To see that we are finally evenly yoked in Him. The freedom and joy to submit to his Spiritual Leadership of our family. The times when our sons were young and so enjoyed, although I miss those years, I love the relationship we share now. To be able to see them enjoying seasons we have lived through. How selfish of me to want them to never grow up, to not experience the gift of marriage, of children, of grandchildren - of living life.
I used to struggle in accepting the death of Job's children and everything else he went through. That those children could never be "replaced" with the ones God blessed him with later on. And we also have lost two children, who are now in heaven with Him. Our sons can not "replace" them, but because of the losses I treasure our sons even more.
He has shown me that through my losses come what I treasure today.
"God blessed Job’s later life even more than his earlier life." (42:12)