Monday, January 21, 2013

"More of Velva" - ‎01/20/13 - Job 5:1-7:21

"When a cloud evaporates, it’s gone for good;
those who go to the grave never come back.
They don’t return to visit their families;
never again will friends drop in for coffee." (7:9-10)

Part of my roots.  Velva Mittermeyer Jones.  She is 94 years old.  Weighs dripping wet - maybe 100 pounds.  Stands all of 5'2".  Her hair has been white for most of my life.  She has eyes as blue as a robins egg.  Her heart has always been gentle and full of love.  Family is the most important part of life for her. 

mom, g'ma, Adam, me
From my earliest memories to today - she fills so many of them.  Often told by her, that being her first grandchild, I have held a very special place in her heart.  A little bit more love has flowed from that precious heart of hers to me, all my life.  We often laugh and smile at some unspoken thought that flows between us, knowing that we are very much alike.  It amazes me how many things, both large and small, that are the same in each other.  My hands, wrists, arms take after hers.  We share the same smile and shape of eyes - that I see God has passed down to our sons.  Their hands that take after their dad, are attached to wrists that look like hers, mine.  I love looking among my family and seeing what has been passed down throughout the generations.  To see that a distant cousin and my sons share the same wrists or eyes.  The mouth that turns up into a smile which can be seen in faded photographs.  To look into the mirror and catch a glimpse of someone in my cheekbones.  To see that connection.

Yesterday, we spent the day with her.  She is at the place in life that she is wanting to give things away.  Anytime I would make a comment about something, she would try to send it home with me.  I explained that I wasn't trying to get something from her, just sharing a memory that came from my past, because of the object.  She then told me, that if there was anything I wanted, to just ask.  She wanted to give it to me.  She wanted me to have it. 

I stood looking at this little lady who holds such a large part of my heart, sitting so tiny in the chair across from me, as we worked on a jigsaw puzzle.  I went over and easily fit into the chair beside her, wrapped my arms about her, and whispered in her ear.  "You know what I want?  I want Velva.  I want Velva forever.  I don't want the stuff.  I want you."   It is so hard not to hug her thin, fragile body too tight.  It is so hard not to cling onto her and let her go. 

It is so hard not to be selfish.

She said she knew how I felt.  It was the same thing she wanted - more of me.  But, her time was coming and it was okay.  It was how things are. 

Job's words remind me that life goes by too fast, too soon.  There are days when my heart physically hurts from wanting to spend time with my other grandparents.  That never again here on earth, may I "drop in for coffee".  How thankful I am that I have had the blessings of my grandparents throughout my adult life.  That Curt, who never had grandparents, was taken in and had this experience too.  That my children's lives were touched also by them for many years.  That the art of grandparenting was one I could learn from firsthand. 

His Words remind me again, what in life is really important.  It isn't about working 24/7 - 365 days.  It isn't about making the big dollar.  It is about those He has placed into your lives.  It is to take every moment and drink it in - make it count.  It isn't about filling someones life with more stuff.  It is about giving them what they so treasure - time.  Time spent with them. 

It is about spending the day putting a jigsaw puzzle together with a piece of your heart.

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