This is a picture of Mt. Hor.
Even when we have faith and know without a doubt where one in Christ will go - death is hard......Bittersweet. In my selfishness I desire the person to remain here with me. I think often of those that have gone before me - and how I miss them. My g'ma Dorothy - more so as the years go by. Our two babies - wondering what they'd look like - be like. Today they would have been 25 and 22. How different our lives would have been with them here.
The other night as I was falling asleep, I was thinking about the fact I am on the downhill side of life. At times it scares me, how quickly time flies - the years. It motivates me to get my life organized - my home, etc. It gives me a sense of urgency to look/act on opportunities He puts before me.
My cousin, Brad, is 44. He has been fighting cancer for the past seven years and we know, unless God gives us a major miracle, his battle will be over any day. I have lost two other cousins, Cyndi at 30 and Ricki at 41.
I remember like yesterday, living in Kearney, MO, God weighed upon my heart for days to call Cyndi. I hadn't spoken to her in years, didn't have her phone number. I received a call from mom letting me know that Cyndi had suddenly died on her couch. They discovered she had congestive heart failure. Whenever I think about not following God's urging, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Talk about wishing for a do-over. I think about her life, low lost she was, and wonder if God was going to use me as a lifeline to Him. Or just to touch base and give her some joy. We were very close growing up. Our lifestyles, choices, distance had drawn us apart. No fights or anything - just drifted apart.
With Brad, I don't have the urgency to call or see him. I tried earlier on and he never responded back. I do have an urgency to pray. His nephew, Michael, is a very strong Christian. I pray for him. That he can be Brad's "Moses" as they climb up the mountain. I know I can not be every one's "Moses", but I can be a light for Christ to everyone I meet. Even if only for a moment. He is so strong, so awesome, and can do so much more in a moment than I can in a lifetime.
As I age, I pray I am a tool for Him. Everyone is dying, making their journey to their mountain top. To remove their clothes and be gathered there.
Everyone will die.