Friday, February 26, 2016

"I Pray" - 02/15/16 - Leviticus 8-10

 "God commanded what has been done this day in order to make atonement for you. (8:34)


Never have I loved as I love our sons.

Yes, I do love my ABBA, my Savior, The Holy Spirit, His Word.

In a different way. Yet in some of the same ways.

Would I hesitate to give my life to save my Curt, our sons, our daughter-in-loves, our grandchildren? Others whom I love dearly?
I would be dead before the next beat.

Would I give myself or these parts of my heart's lives to save others whom are not loved as dearly?
My heart continues on within my body, as I lose count of the number of beats.

I am ashamed to admit - I do not think I could.

Or what if I had to sacrifice one of them to save the other?
Just thinking about being put into that situation causes my heart to pain.

And yet, how we love as a parent to our child, is only a small inkling of how much God loves us.

Each of us.

Even those who have rejected, spat upon, cursed, defied Him.

He has loved ALL - ALL - so very much that through the redemptive life and death of His only begotten Son, Jesus, He gave us reconciliation with Him.

He chose His precious Son to save His other precious children - us.

How often do I take for granted all He sacrificed for my atonement? How often am I so bold that I overlook the sacrifice of His beloved Son and honor "self" instead of Him? How often do I fall into the trap of loving our sons, or other parts of my heart, more than I love Him? How often do I choose them over Him?

No greater love than that of my Lord.

There is no other love able to fill all the voids within me. When I chose to love our sons or others over God, I am putting them in a place of an idol. I am gaining my worth from them. I am causing them to be in a position which they were not designed for. What pressure I put upon them.

They are not - and can not - be God.

How thankful I am ABBA has opened my eyes to my sin in loving others before HIm. How He has taken my destructive way of "loving" them - which is what it was - and turned it all around. So many times I thank Him for being bigger than my mistakes. Bigger in a way that He can totally wipe out all the damage I caused and turn things around for His Glory.

He opened my eyes years ago to see how Adam and Nichalas really aren't mine - they are His. I am just a vessel He has chosen to use to train them up. To guide them. To love them to Him.

Each season in the love of a mom to her children is such a wild ride - ups and downs, not knowing, thinking you know, unsure, doubting, time standing still, going too fast, too soon. Much like the wind across the earth.

I am so thankful that He has shown me how to give this love over to Him and love no one above Him. He has given me rest as I bask in the Fruits of the Spirit - in all my roles He is using me in.

It has been through His Word and the gift of motherhood I see - He is able to love me more than I can imagine. His love is so unselfish. So sacrificing. Always and in all ways, for what is best for me. Even when it has cost Him more than I could ever imagine.

He gave me the gift of atonement - because He loves me.

More even - than how much I love our sons.

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