And God heard.
He sent quail, fire, and leprosy for Miriam. (Why did Aaron get off again?) I wonder if when God called them out before Him, were they trembling? Were they even aware God knew what they had said?
I began to think about how often I am so focused on self, my way, me, me, me - and believe as I grumble, "He can't hear me". My grandma Dorothy used to say when we talk to ourselves we are really talking to the devil, as we say things we wouldn't say otherwise.
He does hear. And yet I would still falter in my faith and begin to grumble and complain. Paul tells us, "to be thankful in all things". I would try. I would find myself trying to look and see others lives whose are far worse than mine. I try not to compare - to covet - to be jealous. And often, when life wasn't fair, I grumbled.
Because I had lost focus. When Moses grumbled to God about all the responsibilities and he couldn't handle them all - God listened. God then provided Moses help. He opened my eyes to how often I would try and do it all and could not. God would provide me with help and in my pride I would refuse it. And then grumble about being stressed and overloaded.
I was having a hard time letting go. The "power", control, doing things my way.
Our home was descended upon by our friends. They invaded! Washed windows, scrubbed floors, cabinets. One even scrubbed our toilets by hand after not being able to find my brush. (That is love.)